Beatnik Christianity Sees the Nuclear Family Not As the Solution But As the Problem Itself

Ah, the nuclear family. The basic social unit of a father and mother who together parent one or more dependents while living in a detached home with a high degree of independence from an extended family support network. This familial model is premised upon the uniquely American prioritization of such cultural values as personal freedom, unprecedented affluence, and self-actualization above all else. This innovative nuclear family became the ideal lifestyle of White conservative Christians and quickly emerged as the new linchpin of the Pax Americana society.

Despite what Focus on the [Nuclear] Family would have you believe, there’s nothin’ traditional about this kinship structure. It’s a historical aberration. It’s unsurprising the term itself only dates back to 1924 and, as David Brooks has elucidated, this unique configuration of modern family life only became widely practiced within the economic prosperity and mobility after WWII.1 Here’s the new framework: the extended family is around for holidays and might step up to help during a crisis, but autonomy is the social expectation and self-sufficiency is the life goal.2

It’s time for some hard truth. The nuclear family model of parenting alone with small children is terrible for both adult mental health and child development.3 The nuclear family model of 2.5 kids is the #1 reason why Mainline Protestantism is slowly dying. The nuclear family model of financial independence is impossible for the poor and sick. The nuclear family model of largely absent grandparents who say, “It’s my time now!” and 20 years later are lonely and withering away in nursing homes is collectively about the worst possible scenario for everyone involved.

Brooks writes, “The family structure we’ve held up as the cultural ideal for the past half century has been a catastrophe for many. It’s time to figure out better ways to live together.”4 He’s right. The social and economic conditions that made the nuclear family a viable model for a snippet of the 20th century no longer exist. Conservatives love echoing Reagan’s famous line, “Government is not the solution to our problem, government is the problem.” In a similar vein, it has become my conviction that the nuclear family kinship model isn’t the solution but is the problem itself.

The original beatniks… Oh, screw it. I’m going off script. Cultural anthropologist Joseph Henrich’s scholarship identifies a pattern of the Western Church over 2,000 years pursuing social policies that deliberately broke down clans, tribal identity, and extended family structures in favor of Christian identity and individualism.5 The good news? Democracy and human rights. The bad news? Century after century, kinship structures were razed as selfish hyper-individualism grew rampant. The creation and now faltering of the nuclear family are old habits taken too far.6