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The more one deep-dives the evolving relational contract of marriage within the Bible the more it becomes clear it’s as awkward as it is fuzzy. Almost none of our modern marital ideals like love, trust, equality, communication, and reciprocity are anywhere near as apparent as we’d like. Instead what we find throughout the Old Testament are practices like arranged marriages, bride prices, pillaging, and androcentric pleasure. Things are a tad better by the time we get to the New Testament era, but I can’t pretend it sticks the landing quite the way I’d prefer.
Take the idea of consent, for example. That seems like a pretty basic foundational component of the divinely-ordered institution of marriage, right? Today consent is recognized as an essential piece of the marriage covenant in Christian traditions ranging from Catholic to Anabaptist. The same cannot be said about Scripture, though. There females face mandatory marriage to the deceased husband’s brother, rapists who have to financially compensate the father for his loss, male slaves assigned by the slave owner, and Israelite soldiers as spoils of war. Well, crap.
Surely the biblical text is at least clear about God‘s monogamous standards for a good and just social order, right? Sorry to disappoint, but it ain’t there. The best we get is hints about it being problematic. Polygamy is required in Levirate marriage. Sometimes the multi-wife arrangement is presumed. Other times concubinage is condoned as part of the extended marital network. Nowhere does Scripture say, “Thou shalt have only one wife.” Oh, but polygamists are disqualified from being church elders in 1 Timothy 3:2. Um… that sound like a full-stop prohibition to you?
Listen, I wish this kinda stuff were there but it’s not. The truth is, it’d be awesome if we lived in an alternative reality where Jesus or anyone else in the the New Testament categorically declared consent to be an essential piece of God’s institution for marriage. Likewise, I’d love nothing more than the Bible coming right out and prohibiting polygamy–condemning it outright as evil, idolatrous, and unjust. That’s not the world we live in, though. Intellectual honesty demands a recognition that Scripture contains an awful lot of ambiguity and flexibility about marriage.
The original beatniks… Ya know what? I don’t have a good anecdote this time, so let’s instead use this opportunity to alleviate any concerns readers might have. No, I’m not down with polygamy. There might be circumstances when it’s the least bad option available, but that’s about it. Also, I 1,000% affirm enthusiastic consent as an integral part of Christian marriage–not because it’s culturally convenient but because it makes good sense theologically. I wholeheartedly affirm a redemptive hermeneutic that sees a restoration of women’s dignity from Genesis to Revelation.
